Can We All Be “Regular” Again?

April 22nd, 2009

tpnk2.JPGI don’t know if I’m having a moment of “hating” on people or simply need to vent, but either way here is what happened:

a couple of days ago, I’m in the locker room of my gym returning to my locker from the shower. Although I have a towel wrapped around me, there isn’t much privacy. At some point the towel has to come off so I can lotion up and dress. My normal locker is in front of a mirror, so while I’m getting myself together, I always sneak a few peaks (hey, at least I’m honest). This is my routine.

Well this day, a circle of Hens spent almost an hour sharing their plastic surgery stories. As each Woman compared the size of their breast/fullness, and lipo-suctioned tummies; my virgin body parts seemed to move further and further away from the “in” crowd. I go to this gym almost every day and I have never seen these women before! But here they are taking up my space, hogging up the mirror, and making me feel like my regular breasts and tummy were no longer good enough!

I immediately flashed back to the summer of 2004; Mardi Gras. Embracing my wild side I was ready to get some beads the “traditional” way. I couldn’t wait for the parades to end and Bourbon St. to begin. My Husband and I hit Bourbon St. about 11p.m. My endeavors soon hit the shelf as I watched women from 30 yrs to 70 yrs (I’m serious!) bare perfectly paid for double and triple “D’s”. I glanced down at my goods again and realized Mother Nature was no competition for saline and silicone. The end result: I went back to the Hotel Bead less.

I miss the days when “normal”, “regular” cleavage was enough, and as long as your stomach didn’t stick out further than your ass, you were good! As much as I speak about being extraordinary, for now, this is one category that I am perfectly, happily “regular” in….I think.

Now I’m asking the question: Can’t we all just be……”Regular” again? I’m listening….Holla at ya Gyrl !

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Can You Handle One Hour?

April 7th, 2009

butterfly.jpgThe word Orgasm is enough to capture my attention. So imagine what happened when I read One Hour Orgasm.

First my jaw dropped with disbelief, then my jaw dropped with disbelief, and finally my jaw dropped with disbelief. Seriously, most women cross fingers to achieve one Orgasm, but to make it last for an hour?! No freaking way! Once my senses returned, logic immediately kicked in with one question: HOW?

When a certain Oral technique called the Venus Butterfly is practiced, the result is hundreds of contractions which continue one after another. The technique is simultaneous stimulation of the clitoris and G-spot. The goal is not to explode into a full orgasm; rather your partner stimulates you to a heightened sexual peak then retreats and resumes again, repeating the same cycle. Each time you do this, the sexual tension builds to a point that the body releases mild contractions.

There is still much debate on whether this technique is Fact or Myth. Skeptics feel this is nothing more than a re-take on the Tantric Orgasm. There is also question on whether the continued release of “mild contractions” can truly be labeled an Orgasm. Orgasm is defined as reaching a sexual peak or explosion accompanied by ejaculation but with the Venus Butterfly technique, ejaculation is purposely postponed for sake of prolonging euphoria.

My conclusion: I don’t care who is right or wrong in the debate because the bottom line is (drum roll) pro-long-ed eu-pho-ria…Hello! Now I’m asking;

Can You Handle One Hour?……..I’m listening………..Holla at ya Gyrl !


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Will You Be His Best Cheerleader?

March 16th, 2009

toyagrn.JPGWomen are intrinsic nurturers, advisers, instructors, and teachers. We are so patient and loving. Even when it’s necessary to impart “tough love” we do so with a loving hand. We are commissioned to be so many things that our role becomes one big blur in the handling of our children and our Men. I often hear men complain they are treated like children at home. Now let me clarify before I continue: Some of you (Men) are treated like children because you act like a child: This topic is not for you.

I want my Gyrlfriends with real Men to take a breath (Inhale…now exhale),then read what I have to say with an open heart and an honest mind.

Did you know your man needs you to be his best Cheerleader? That means when he comes home from work, greet him with excitement, kiss him with passion, and listen. That is his instant band-aid for the wounds he collected through out the day. See, I don’t know how to walk in a Mans’ shoes because I’m not one; but I do know that life beats harder on Men than Women. Therefore when he comes home feeling defeated (and he will), don’t go into “fix it” mode by lecturing or giving instruction. Your expertise is not needed. Plus, he can get an opinion from anyone; but what he does need?! he can ONLY get from YOU. YOU are the reason he battles the world, roars the loudest and grudgingly tucks his tail sometimes when he really wants to tell his boss to go to Hell. YOU are his motivation so be available! Be available to listen, nurture, massage his shoulders, rub his head, lay with him etc. More importantly take- his- side. Make it clear you are here for him. Remember, this is his moment so don’t one up him with a comparison of how bad your day was.

I know I’m always pointing the finger at us and its likely your wondering is all that really necessary? Nope, it isn’t. It’s only necessary if you’re with a man you truly love and plan on spending your life with.

Will you be his Best Cheerleader? Speak to me….I’m listening….Holla at ya Gyrl !


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Have You Replaced Your Man with a Boy?

March 7th, 2009

toyagrn.JPGIt is amazing how often Women will state, “I need a real man”, not realizing they have already had many. I know there are some crappy picks in the litter, but how can you truly measure the Crappy vs the Worthy if you never allow your man to step up to the plate. A man has to feel in his heart he is needed by his woman. If he is not valued in his own home, he will drift.

When a man falls in love with you he is hardwired to please you, stand up for you, protect you and be a Man to you. He wants to pay the bills, fix stuff around the house (even if he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing), help you with chores, do his part with the children, and basically spoil you. But you make it difficult for him to own his role when you complain about everything he does. If he cleans the house, you point out what he missed; when he attempts to cook dinner you’re directing him on what to cook next time and how to cook it; when he is tough with the kids you undermine his authority in front of the kids, and if does anything on his own, your giving him unsolicited advice on how he can do it better the next time.

If your intentions were to commit yourself to a Man then stop treating him like a Boy! Talk to him with the respect he deserves, especially in front of his friends. You picked him and I’m assuming you would not choose a man you have no respect for, so back off a little.

I’m so relieved Men are not as “helpful” as we try to be :) They are so wonderful about not stepping into our territory and allowing us shine. Why not do the same for them?

Have you replaced your Man with a Boy? I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl!

Godspeed,

Latoya


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What’s Most Important To You? Love or the Number.

February 22nd, 2009

toyagrn.JPGI am awestruck when in the presence of couples who have been married for decades. They recite their numbers with enormous pride and rightfully so. I find myself wanting to step into their shoes and know what love feels like after 20, 30, 40 plus years of marriage. I wait anxiously for the story behind the number, but it never follows; and when I ask questions such as, “what is the glue that keeps your marriage together? Or How do you stay together so long?” the question is proceeded with an uncomfortable silence. Although Love and Marriage are compatible with one another I bet if you asked the questions; How long have you been married? and How long have you been in love? It is likely you would get 2 different answers.

Our fixation with the number of years married seems to over-ride whether passion and deep love still exist. I had an “ah ha” moment when I was confided in by someone close to me married almost 30 years. In my life, this couple was comparable to the “Huxtables” ; envied by most, financially sound, and seemingly affectionate toward one another. A tragic event happened which lead me to her and as our conversation became more intimate she disclosed the details of her loveless marriage and regrets not divorcing at her 10 year mark. She described virtually two strangers living among each other raising children. Now in her late forties, she has accepted her way of life as being as good as it gets.

One of my biggest fears is to look back on my life in my old age and regret not having the courage to make a decision that would have changed my life. I don’t claim to fully understand love but I do know I have not been to the depth of it. I know I would never negotiate love for the sake of a number. I would never choose a number over love. How about you?

I want to know, how many of you find that your number of years married are synonymous (or not) with love….I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

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Has Cupid’s Arrow Hit the Center of Your Heart?

February 11th, 2009

toyagrn.JPGValentine’s Day is in 3 days! Ladies by now you should already have your Nani cosmetically and hygienically correct, your “smell good” lotion on deck and a sexy ass outfit complimenting the assets. Forget about being a Mama/Wife, bring out his Girlfriend and surprise him with something unexpected.
I hope you Daddies didn’t wait until now to plan your day. You know how you are and if you want your love day to begin and end with some loving you’d better appear to have had V-Day planned well in advance.

For guys, V-day is a no-brainer; it’s practically text book: 1. show up with flowers and/or chocolate, 2. go out to dinner, 3. tell your woman how fine she is. You do those things and you are guaranteed a night of good sex, I promise..Even if you’re single. See women will not spend V-day with someone they don’t want to have sex with. The moment she agreed to spend Valentine’s Day with you, the decision was made that very moment. You are chosen and it’s going down. The only way that changes is if YOU (Big Daddy) mess it up.
Fellas, may I recommend that you leave the dress up and costumes to the Ladies? Unless you are a Male Exotic Dancer for real, leave the g-string and stripper dancing to us. PLEASE don’t buy bikini underwear with 3d characters in the front. Better yet, don’t buy bikini underwear at all, or those corny heart boxer shorts. We (women) look sexy in fantasy wear; you (men) just look emasculated. Trust me, you have the prize and when it’s stiff that’s the best outfit ever.

Now that I have established and reaffirmed the Valentine’s Day rituals and faux pas, I’m asking the question; has cupid’s arrow hit the center of your heart? What are your plans for Valentines Day? I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

Godspeed
Latoya


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Ladies, Do You Respect and Appreciate Your Prize?

February 1st, 2009

toyagrn.JPGIt never fails! Whenever I’m in the company of women who are long time Relation-shippers, the conversation always re-directs to weight or sex. Not sex the way I spin it, more like Government sex. Government sex is sex that is issued out like a welfare check; once per month. While your time and energy is placed on making your hair-do last till your next appointment, shopping for clothes or stuff you don’t need and catching up with your girlfriends; a man who loves YOU and worships the ground YOU walk on patiently waits for his Government issue.

We take on the attitude and belief our Nani is priceless. It is when we are deciding who we want to share it with, but once you choose and commit, the Nani comes off the shelf. To hold back is to have given it away under false pretense! If my memory serves me right, the Nani is at her best with its counterpart: the penis. I’ve played with toys before but nothing and I mean ab-so-lute-ly nothing takes the place of a man’s body on top of you guiding and directing his own penis until you strain your vocal chords. My point?….There is just as much power in the penis as is the Nani so show some respect and appreciation. You can start by;

– Waking up with him before he goes to work and giving him full access. His penis is already wide awake so it’s an effortless gesture.
-Thank him for knowing how to use his penis to make your body tremble and shake uncontrollably.
-Right when his is leaving for work, give him two kisses. One on the lips and one on his…you know what’s up.

Be grateful he can rise up just by watching you move around the house. That’s a compliment to your sexy. Reward him but realize you are the one getting the prize.

Ladies do you respect and appreciate your prize? Fella’s I want to hear from you too. I wanna know if you feel your Trophy is being appreciated! I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

Godspeed….Latoya

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Have You Been Directed or Re-directed To The Right Keeper?

January 24th, 2009

toyagrn.JPGAt conception we are given one of the greatest gifts; a Heart. This Heart is given “brand new” and works for us immediately. Before we experience our first breath of life, your heart has already begun its task.

To say you have kept something close to your heart means you have guarded it as your own and made it part of you. To love someone with all of your heart is to say you trust that person with the one thing which makes you vulnerable. Your heart is the core of who you are. How is it that an instrument so important often gets placed in the wrong hands?

At birth our parents and caretakers are assigned as Keepers of our heart then at some point we are given authority; authority to keep our own Heart until we place it in the hands of someone. It is not realized how difficult this is until our heart is misplaced through many hands. The end result is: we become too restrictive or too careless.

In restriction, we are so untrusting it’s nearly impossible to discern placement. The fear of another broken heart grips us so strong that we refuse to let it go. In carelessness we are so desperate for a Keeper that we hand-over our heart to almost anyone. Knowingly, we place our heart into undeserving hands. Sometimes forcing it in hands of men who want nothing to do with it! Even in marriage you may discover that you gave the wrong person charge over your Heart. The Keeper of your Heart is your breast plate and shield. He recognizes your heart is fragile and does not seek to break it. He undoubtedly loves you and guards your heart with a passion. It’s his promise to you.

How are we directed or redirected to the right Keeper? It starts with you. This is one of the few areas you have total control over so use it wisely!
- Recognize the mistakes you make repeatedly in your Relationships. They are usually a reflection of your own fears and weakness and we tend to attach ourselves to men we think can fix or soothe them. The fix is only temporary and when the relationship ends you still have the same wound only now it’s’ bigger.
- Treat your own heart the way you expect it to be treated. That means falling in love with you first, but not in an arrogant sense. Take the time to learn you with the same excitement you would apply to learning about a new lover.
- Clean House: rid your heart of that old debris and trash that made it hard and heavy. Make it joyful again so that you attract like-kind.
Now your heart is ready to be released without any restrictions to the right Keeper. Have you been directed or re-directed to the right Keeper? I’m listening….Holla at ya Gyrl !


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What’s Your Formula For Extraordinary Sex?

January 12th, 2009

toyagrn.JPGMy Extraordinary Sex Series wraps up with the last five topics. I love writing about sex because I feel we have to be reminded of how sacred and intimate that component of our relationship is. It’s the only part of us that is not shared with other people. It’s that deep emotional and spiritual time set aside for us to commune with our spouse; a physical communication where our bodies express with one another.

How does something so intimate get pushed to the back burner? And, how does an extraordinary experience become so ordinary?

Keeping it sexy and thriving can be a goal when so much is demanded of your time. With children, career demands, and outside commitments, by the end of the day you’ve been pulled in so many directions that there isn’t much gas left in you to go on. You go to sleep and do the same thing the next day leaving no energy for the person who loves you the most.

Extraordinary sex is not about being Superman or Superwoman in the bedroom. It’s about remembering when sex with your spouse was incredible and unbelievable. You were open minded, uninhibited and willing to do almost anything to please your Love. If you take away one thing from this series, its’ Remember and Renew (I know ..that’s 2 things). Remembering how it feels to hear her moan for you when you awaken her zones, or the way her back arched when she felt that intensity pour from her G-spot. Remembering when foreplay was as rewarding as intercourse and routine never entered the bedroom and more importantly; renewing your passion for one another.

Now that I’ve given you my formula for extraordinary sex, what yours?…..I’m listening….Holla at ya Gyrl!

Godspeed
~Latoya~


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Is It Time To Re-new Your Passion?

December 29th, 2008

toyagrn.JPGHaving passion for pleasing your Love automatically elevates a sexual experience from regular to extraordinary. To be passionate about pleasing your partner means its not just a goal, it’s a personal mission!

As years progress and we add mileage to our relationships, the passion we once had when making love tends to slowly fade. Mind blowing marathon sessions have withered to a race to the finish. For a woman, nothing is worse than having sex with her husband and feeling as if she were never part of the act. I can only imagine for a man, nothing is worse than feeling as if your having sex with a stranger who has no attraction for you. But that is what it comes down to when all passion has gone. Sex becomes a regular mechanism rather than an extraordinary experience.

Renewing passion for one another starts with remembering. Remembering those emotions running rampant in your body when you anticipated sex. It wasn’t enough to screw until you cum. You had to know every part of her; how she taste, her scent, the way her skin felt against yours. There was passion for how you wanted to make her feel and when you made love to her all that emotion transferred from your spirit to hers and she felt the depth of you.

Ladies renew your passion for your man by remembering how you felt when you wanted to do anything and everything for him. You could care less what people thought of you because all that mattered is that Big Daddy had all his desires fulfilled. He didn’t even have to ask you to give the “other Daddy” attention. You anticipated it all day and couldn’t wait to get home and drop to your knees. Passion is so powerful, that everything which sprouts from it is extraordinary and effortless. This one is simple. All you have to do is remember then re-new.

I’m asking the question; Is it time to re-new your passion?………I’m listening……Holla at ya Gyrl!

Godspeed
~Latoya~

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