Have You Been Targeted by The Fakers and The Haters?

January 31st, 2009

haters.bmpNow that we are nearing the end of January, you should be establishing a good stride in the Marathon of pursuing your Dreams. There are those who took off sprinting and are way ahead of you, but don’t worry; most of them will hit the wall as that New Year excitement begins to wear off. You are mentally prepared for the long haul. As those around you notice your persistence growing stronger, most will be inspired as well and want to join your team. You need good people around you so use them. Allow those who are truly for you to be your cheerleaders. A wonderful thing happens when you begin to move in your own direction; you lead others to do the same. But just as you attract those who support you, you will also be targeted by those who despise you: The Haters and The Fakers.

The Fakers are like wolves in sheep’s clothing. They mesh themselves with your real supporters. They high-five you, pat you on the back and celebrate with the masses on your achievements but deep inside they anticipate your failure. They look for opportunities to instill fear and doubt. In a subtle manner the Fakers shoot down your ideas, always willing to tell you why you shouldn’t as opposed to why you should. The Fakers are the worst of the worst. Once identified, they should be immediately eliminated from your team.

The Haters are simple. Their only purpose is to hate on YOU. I give Haters respect because unlike the Fakers they know and embrace their position. A Hater will let you know up front where they stand. They hunt you and create chaos because they want you destroyed. Haters get angry when you seek to climb above and beyond what is “acceptable”. Don’t EVER waste your time trying to convert a Hater….. But you can be strategic in using them as motivation. When you see Haters, smile and keep it moving. The closer you get to the finish the harder they’ll hate. That’s what they do; so don’t keep’em happy, keep’em Hating.

Have you been targeted by The Fakers and The Haters? I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

What Is Your 12:06 p.m. Reflection?

January 20th, 2009

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Today the nation stopped at 12:06 p.m.

At 12:06 p.m. our hearts paused its beat as President Barack Obama uttered the first words of his Presidential Inauguration Speech.

At 12:06 p.m. America received a welcome overdose of Hope and Change; injecting renewed spirit, renewed confidence, true unity, and confirmation that when we stand together as a people, America is truly our country.

November 4, 1841 Frederick Douglass delivered one of his first recorded anti-slavery speeches for the Massachusetts Society. In this speech Mr. Douglass says, “They will not allow that we have a head to think and a heart to feel and a soul to aspire.”

Today, souls of Americans drown in aspiration, acknowledgement, and testimony that we have reached the epitome of what our Ancestors hoped to see. I can only imagine they are looking down upon us with a quiet smile saying “well done America…well done.”

I know we have a long road ahead of us which will likely get worse before it gets better, but I didn’t want to worry about that today. I simply wanted to emerse myself in the moment. This is my reflection as I witnessed History take place, what about yours? I want to know how you felt today at 12:06 p.m.; good, bad or indifferent…I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

What Dreams Do Your Heart Desire?

January 5th, 2009

paint-the-sky.jpg I never become tired of talking about the things we dream of. Dreaming about things to come or the way we envision ourselves is vital to our foundation and maintaining ourselves as an individual. Last week we acknowledged that life does get in the way of our dreams. Growing up our choices seems limitless then we become adults with responsibilities and discover it’s not all that we thought it would be. The freedom is great but the margin for error closes quickly. We leave High School and enter a life of true responsibility. As our responsibilities increase our passion for pursuing our dreams slowly fade away. Then one day you wake up and the kids are bigger, your career is steady, life becomes a little more balanced and you discover the passion you had for your dreams is still within you. Where do you start? Now that you’ve lived 10 or more years in strict rules and rigid timeframes it’s time to unlearn some of what you’ve dedicated your life to; coloring inside the lines.

I use the term bittersweet often because it sums up something that’s good and not so good at the same time. I view rules as being bittersweet. We need rules to establish order. However, when too much focus is placed on rules we neglect our ability to be creative. We start seeing the glass as half empty as opposed to half full. Our optimism is replaced with pessimism, and we shift our thinking to why we “can’t” as opposed to why we “can”. We let people convince us to remain in our comfort zones though it is innate in us to venture. So, in order for us to let go, revive our creativeness and nurture what we are good at we should start by giving ourselves permission. Permission to;

- Be different!
- Have a crazy idea and treat it seriously!
- Talk about what you dream in your heart and believe in it!
- Be confident and somewhat arrogant about your natural talents!
- Invest in making your dream come true!

Let’s move forward together and shift our dreams from our heads and back into our hearts. What dreams do your heart desire? I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

Godspeed
~Latoya~

2009 Is Here! Are You Ready For Your Marathon?

December 22nd, 2008

522852349_3df1135203.jpgThe New Year represents a fresh start and renews our motivation to be better, do better and challenge ourselves outside the limits of our boundaries. How many New Years have you said,” this is the year I do…” just to find yourself saying the same thing again the next year and the next? What happened? You were ready to start your business, write that novel, shed 20 pounds, go back to school etc.. then you let life get in the way…… again.

We are gifted with a mind that has no limits or boundaries. I bet when you close your eyes and daydream, you see yourself as the person you want to be; strong, confident, large and successful. Then you return to life and start following rules again. Remember in Kindergarten how it was so important to color inside the lines? Even in our early development we were taught rules but not really allowed to foster our creativity and the things we are good at. Your mind paints a better reality of what you can become because no one is there reminding you to color inside the lines.

Let’s make 2009 the year we start and pace the race. Bringing your dreams into reality is more kin to a Marathon as opposed to a short sprint. But because we have no patience for the sacrifice, labor and mental training it takes to begin building an empire we tend to “hit the wall” around Spring disappointed the dream hasn’t come into fruition. We allow people to discourage us and we discourage ourselves with negative affirmations. You know what negative affirmations are? Excuses!

- “I can’t because of…”
- “I don’t have the money”
- “If my husband/wife would have supported me..”
- “I’m not that good yet..”

Can I love you enough to tell you no one should out-do your excitement for your own dreams? Furthermore, no one should work harder than you in pursuing your dreams. Here’s a question: If your only source of food came from what you grew on your own land, would you allow someone else to plant your seeds and nurture your soil? Think about it, I’ll wait…hmmmmmmmmmmmm….that’s what I thought! Then why do so with your dreams? You’ve talked about it long enough and you’ve hit the wall enough to know that short sprints don’t work. It’s time to pace your race. Are you ready for your Marathon?…..I’m listening…….Holla at ya Gyrl!

Now We Can Stop Lying To Our Children!

October 23rd, 2008

ed0884.jpgI grew up with a Father who staunchly supported my dreams no matter how silly or unrealistic. My dreams were filled with bright lights, big screens, and Broadway bill boards bearing my name! When I wanted to be a Singer, my Daddy let me play my records as loud as I wanted. When I thought I would be the first female Break Dancer to make it big, my Daddy brought home the biggest cut of card board he could find. As my dreams moved to being a Rapper, he bought me a microphone, notebooks, and never winced when I scratched up our records trying to D.J. in our tiny Living Room. I knew without a doubt I could reach the stars, so of course when I began raising my kids I even went a step further. I’ve been Team Mom too many times to count, Assistant Basketball Coach, loudest Mother in the stands, snack person and transportation. 3 of my sons loved sports and wanted to be bigger than Michael Jordan, Kobe, the Barber twins, etc., and my 4th son found his gift in academics. He was the only one who never expressed his dreams or talked about what he wanted to be when he grew up.

Then one day, my son told me he wanted to be the first Black President of the United States of America. I shook my head in agreement and support of his dream knowing I was telling him a lie!

I knew this country, with all its freedoms, democracy, beauty, and protection of its own, this unspeakably wonderful land of opportunity for all men of all races would allow my son to be anything he was capable of reaching for, but President was not one of them.

I hoped and prayed my son would find another dream to strive for. One without a meaningless purpose. As my son entered High School he did shift his focus. Even he opened his eyes realizing he may never see a Black President of the United States in his life time.

So, today as I intently scrutinize the Presidential election, I stand speechless, proud, shameful, and vindicated. Shameful that I didn’t have enough confidence in America to believe I would see a Black President and vindicated that I no longer have to lie. When my little Nephews and Nieces tell me they want to grow up and be President, I can look them straight in the eyes and PROUDLY tell them they can be anything they want to be……… including President of the United States of America…Let’s vote for a Change We Can Believe In.

~GodSpeed~
Latoya

Wall Street Is On Welfare, Now What?

October 1st, 2008

wall-street.jpgI had my first son at the age of 18 years old. When I was pregnant I had no understanding why I should be worried that I had no income. About 8 ½ months into my pregnancy my Mamma sat me down and painted my reality.

Because I was young, irresponsible and obviously immature I would need to apply for Welfare and get government assistance. I liken today’s financial crisis to my situation. The only difference is that my Financial “Bail out” plan came in the form of $564.00 per month issued in increments of $282.00 every two weeks. You have no idea the interrogation I had to go through from my “Super” Social Worker just to get my mediocre assistance.

My “Bail out” plan wasn’t as lucrative as the $700 billion Congress is contemplating but hey it just shows in today’s economy, being irresponsible lands a much better payday than in my time.

I understand that our economy has been airlifted to the emergency room and the Bail Out plan is the much needed Life Support, but isn’t it always us consumers who sacrifice the most? Once the banks and investment firms get their welfare checks, it’s back to business as usual.

I wonder if any of the Bail Out money will be issued to those who took huge hits on their retirement plans, 401 (k), and Mutual Funds…It’s o.k. to laugh…I did the same thing as I was writing this.
Sound off and let me know your feelings on what’s happening today…I’m Listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

~Godspeed~
Latoya

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Is Sarah Palin Getting All “Girly” On Us?

September 13th, 2008

palin.bmpNow that we know the difference between a Pit bull and a Hockey Mom, what’s next? John McCain and Sarah Palin have done a wonderful job hyping up the Republican Party. Sarah Palin, touting herself as the Maverick, has apparently tapped in to her womanly sensitive side when a comment made by Obama turned the Pit bull into a meek sheep. Specifically, during a campaign speech, Obama commented, “you know you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig..” referencing McCain’s promise to change Washington D.C.

Albeit the oldest expression in politics, John McCain comfortably used this same phrase during a campaign speech in early 2008 regarding Hilary Clinton’s failed Health Care Policy. After Obama made his comment, McCain’s campaign hissed viciously saying the sexist, offensive and disgraceful remark was directed at Sarah Palin and demanded an apology.

So is this the first taste of what it will be like to have a Woman serve as Vice President? Every time something is said that hurts Palin’s feelings, Mc Cain will be wagging his finger in our faces demanding apologies! Even if it is one of the oldest expressions in the book?! Now that America has had its first dose of Sensitivity training, I vote John McCain should put together a book of “Phrases and Expressions” that can no longer be used because the Barracuda/Maverick might get all girly on us and fall apart. I hope Palin’s husband never tells her she looks fat in her jeans! That could be the start of our war with Russia! Take note John McCain; Hilary Clinton never demanded an apology from you because she’s been in politics long enough to know how to play with the Big Boys. Maybe Clinton can give Palin a lesson or two……I’m just saying. What do you say? I’m listening:)

GodSpeed
~Latoya~
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Do You Mourn the Demise of “Real Grandma’s”?

August 22nd, 2008

grandma.bmpI spent a good part of my childhood/ adulthood with my Grandma Beulah Mae Thompson from Kinston, North Carolina. My Grandma was The Big Mama of the family. When she left North Carolina for California, she brought all her Southern values with her. I love that fact that my Grandma’s appearance was classic Grandma. She was short in height, with a round circumference, and donned the sweetest, most genuine smile one could imagine. It was rare to see her with out her house coat or Moo Moo on and even rarer to see her without an apron tied around her body. She was as much Diva as she was Domestic. Come through on a Sunday morning and you’d see Beulah Mae in a two piece skirt suit or dress with matching shoes, clutch bag, gloves, wig, hat and glam accessories to put the finishing touch on the look.

The kitchen was her sanctuary and every Sunday, Sunday Dinner was cracking. When Grandma whipped up any of her southern dishes she moved like poetry in motion, shaking one seasoning after another. A handful of this, a few shakes of that, nothing was ever measured yet the flavor in her food remained consistent. Oh, and desserts????!!! Let’s talk about Sweet Potato pie, Peach Cobbler with home made crust, Lemon Cake drizzled with a zesty glaze, White Cake, Coconut Cake, 7-up cake, Banana Pudding to name just a few.

It may sound like I’m bragging and I am but… I’m mourning also because my generation (the X’ers) is the last of generations to experience a real, cookie baking, kitchen throw down, Grandmother.

Grandma’s and Big Mamma’s have been replaced by the Na Na’s. The Na Na’s are a cooler, sexier upgrade than the Original version. Na Na’s don’t have time to cook and have traded family treasured recipes for box meals and trips to the Drive Through. Where Grandma’s door was always open to the grand kids, Na Na will quickly remind you she is hanging out with the girls and you got to go home to your Mamma! Na Na ain’t baking no cookies. She buying them packaged at the grocery store.

I promise I’m not “hating” on the Na Na’s. I support change and revision to the role of Grandma in our society, however part of this wheel should never be re-invented. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I realized what was really happening in the kitchen. When me and my Grandma was snapping peas or baking a cake together we were bonding and building trust in one another. She patiently listened to my words as if I was giving the greatest American speech of all times and I soaked in all of her infinite wisdom about life. Grandma’s kitchen was therapeutic, Godly, a safe haven to let your guard down and be You. Food represented the puzzle pieces, and the time we spent together was glue that kept the puzzle strong. I cherish all of my memories with my Grandma and when she died, the only possession of hers I wanted was the aprons she cooked in. Merely old material to the unknowing eye, but a priceless goldmine for me. When I cook in my kitchen and put on Grandma’s apron, I feel like she in there with me patiently guiding my hand.

If your Grandma is the BOMB like mine, I wanna hear from you!
I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

Godspeed ~Latoya~

Did You Forget About The Grim Reaper?

August 7th, 2008

reaper.jpg1981, a strange outbreak emerged among gay men in the United States. Doctors from New York and Los Angeles reported widespread Pneumocystis carinii pneumonia (a Lung infection) and Karposi’s Sarcoma, a rare skin cancer. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention began tracking cases of nearly diminished immune systems. Finally a name was given; AIDS.

By 1982 cases of AIDS were being reported from persons receiving blood transfusions. 1984 AIDS became identified as being caused by a Human retrovirus, HIV. 1985 AIDS hits the big screen as one of Hollywood’s giants succumbs to the disease, Rock Hudson.

1987, as the number of HIV positive cases rise, AIDS is still being identified as a gay disease. Those who were not gay or bi-sexual considered themselves “out of the woods”. Prevention through sexual abstinence and use of condoms are being preached. Medication is available to control the symptoms and increase life span, but no cure.

Entering the 90’s we realize HIV/AIDS is not a “gay only” disease. Reporting’s increase rapidly among the heterosexual community, and use of condoms are stressed among our youth. The 90’s brought us the strongest era of AIDS education and prevention. This issue remained priority on all political agenda’s and was backed financially by the government.

Today, not only is the AIDS epidemic flying below the radar, a drastic slow down in education, and loss of financial backing has pushed it on the shelves of the media closet. Because of this, we’ve become complacent if not “sloppy” about being responsible sex partners. The Domino affect is an “out of sight out of mind” attitude and taking the risk of unprotected sex. New cases of HIV are exploding among Blacks and Hispanics. Black teenagers represent about 16 percent of the U.S. population, yet they represented 69 percent of all new AIDS cases in 2005. Somebody should be concerned!!!!!!

Taking the focus away from this epidemic gives false perception the disease is under control. Since the birth of Viagra, new HIV reporting’s hit the Senior Citizen community. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports 11% of newly reported HIV cases are persons over the age of 50. Senior Citizens make up nearly 27% of people living with AIDS.

What can you do?
- GET TESTED! Above everything, know your status. I can speak from experience. The scariest time of my life was waiting for my HIV test results. Most people my age had been having lots of unprotected sex prior to HIV/AIDS coming to the surface. When I was teenager/young adult condoms were used and marketed as birth control only. I was on the pill so I wasn’t worried about birth control. When AIDS knocked on America’s door as an uninvited guest and refused to leave, I knew I had to get tested. Although I’m married, I still get tested every now and then because it just feels like the right thing to do.
- CONDOMS, If you are not in a monogamous, committed, relationship, use condoms. When you are out and about doing your thing, it is your responsibility to be vigilant about whom you bed with. We are too far in the game to be hearing and believing the same old excuses, “it doesn’t feel the same,” “don’t you trust me?”, “I’m clean!” If you have an active sex life with no commitment to anyone, then you should be buying condoms in bulk.
- ABSTAIN- I know it sounds old fashioned and out of style, but there is still valor in abstaining from sex. Abstinence as an option is rarely brought up, so I’m doing it and I’m saying its o.k. (not for me, but for someone out there).
- INFORMATION, stay informed on a regular basis. We are living in a period of time where the world is literally at our fingertips. You can be informed of anything just by searching the internet. Use your resources and stay on top of statistics and trends relating to HIV/AIDS.

I know this is a lot to digest but it’s worth it because this is the world we live in. Before I excuse you away from your computer screen, I want to give a shout out to Sheryl Lee Ralph for doing everything in her power to keep awareness of this ugly disease in our face. Ms. Ralph is a long standing AIDS activist and I appreciate her in every way.

Have you forgotten? Holla at ya Gyrl!

Godspeed ~ Latoya

www.sherylleeralph.com
www.blackaids.org

Do You Live “Everyday Katrina”?

July 2nd, 2008

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Hurricane Katrina brought with her a flood of Media attention journaling the tragedy of minorities and under privileged who lay stranded awaiting assistance from the United States Government. Americans glued to their televisions witnessed the death toll rise daily. Mothers were ill supplied with milk, food or water to feed their babies and our elders struggled to make it to the next day. Police were out numbered and those strong enough declared Martial Law in an attempt to protect their remnants. While the weak hid in the shadows, the young and wild terrorized Parishes like it was the return of the Cowboys and Indians. Darwin’s Theory was in full effect. Regrettably, Katrina only exposed what poverty stricken minorities’ deal with on a daily basis.

If that week could be re-lived and Hurricane Katrina never existed, all the other elements of her aftermath would prevail; senseless murders, gun toting children, intimidation of the weak, and blatant ignorance of the problem from our Government. Add to that failed education, scarce jobs, and an income that teeters families on the line of poverty, one would think Hurricane Katrina was not only a devastating storm but a social economic cleansing of New Orleans rooted problems.

New Orleans is the face of many cities in the United States where Americas’ low to middle class live in “war like” conditions on a daily basis. Cities such as Compton (CA), Baltimore (MD), Camden (NJ), Little Rock (Ark), Cleveland (OH), Oakland (CA), Flint (Mich.), St. Louis (MO), & Detroit (Mich.) regularly don the crown for highest murder rates per capita. Instead of placing attention on “pre”-vention and increasing funds for education or creating incentives for jobs paying higher than minimum wage, our Government’s solution is to build more prisons and create more Social welfare programs. We are still in need of a “hand up” not a “hand out” and social welfare programs do nothing but keep us living below or barely above poverty level. In light of everything I have said, I’m asking, what about the people living “everyday Katrina”? What about those communities in turmoil outside the media spotlight? The likely hood of a natural disaster hitting those cities and forcing a change is nil, but the likely hood of a child being murdered while simply walking home from school or a local community center is almost a guarantee. How many lives have to be taken and spirits broken before our Nations leaders roll up their sleeves and get dirty? And how long will we sit back and act like it’s not our problem?

If you live or have been exposed to what I’m saying, talk to me. I want to know what you think good or otherwise…Holla at ya Gyrl!

Godspeed ~ Latoya