It’s mid February and time is doing what it always does; moving forward, and fast. Time is consistent. It doesn’t matter what goes on in the world, there are always 24 hours in a day. Time seems gracious to us in our adolescence. When you’re a child it moves slowly and our infant minds want so bad to speed it up! We want to hurry and become a “big” person. Then we actually become a “big” person and realize how much time we have wasted. As soon as we adapt that awareness, time mocks us by moving at the speed of light (or so it seems).

The greatest gift is that we have control over what-we-do with our time. Remember your teen-age years? It was all about the direction adults set for you versus your personal dreams and goals. Most of us knew without a doubt what we wanted to be, the complicated part was getting there. Post graduation, Life introduced many other factors like bills, job, relationships, children, friendships, etc. Now there was even less time and you still had to sleep! Because of this, dreams fell to the wayside.

Reality causes many dreams to fade however YOU are the only person who has the power to make them disappear. Even if life threw a case full of monkey wrenches in your way, time will always allow you opportunity realize your dreams. One day when you’re old and gray you’ll reflect upon your life and accomplishments. If you’ve used time wisely your reflections will have few regrets.

Whether it’s moving fast or slow, time gives us 24 hours. The question is: How will you spend yours?

“In the big scheme of things we are all but pawns in this game called Life”

Wow, if I only had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that throughout the years. However the saying holds true in that we are experiencing the biggest, most fascinating, incredible time ever! Life is a gift as is the relationships we hold with people in general and those we love. We have no control over our Birth or Death, but all in between is our ship to navigate. Time is the key factor of what stands between life and death yet as intelligent beings, we don’t utilize time the way we should. The value of it isn’t nearly realized until time is running out!

Now, I need you to do me a favor (yes, you). Instead of viewing life in our usual and customary manner, I want to challenge you, only for a short moment, to switch your perspective and go with me from end to beginning. That was not an error. I did write “end to beginning”.

But wait! I think I am jumping too far ahead so let me slow down…

As we navigate our ship through life many relationships are formed. Each one falls somewhere on the scale of close to distant. For the sake of clarity this topic will focus on our close relationships because those are the ones which are significant in our lives. When hurt, betrayal, and loss is experienced, we counter those feelings with anger because it’s easier on our heart to feel anger than pain. That process is pretty much a natural mechanism of how we protect ourselves in our most vulnerable moments. It becomes a problem when we carry the anger and resentment throughout our journey allowing it to become toxic in our relationships.

We get so ruffled over the smallest things; “this person borrowed money and never paid it back”, “that person told all my personal business to so and so”, “they did me wrong”, “so and so is always hating on me”, “He lied!”.. I can go on and on. Whether it’s a heartbreak, sibling rivalry, family problems or personal problems, holding onto resentment will kill you quicker than anything else. We like to do things in our own time, and I am a huge believer that time takes care of everything, but understand, time doesn’t move to our rhythm. We are NEVER guaranteed control over the moment we decide to forgive and move on. When Time has shorted us and we’re standing over the hospital bed or grave site of our loved ones, those grudges we held for so long suddenly mean nothing. And all the hurt, pain, anger, and resentment automatically turn into forgiveness. It is in these moments that we hope, wish, and pray for more time to make amends, so why wait?

Having an “end” to “beginning” perspective means at some point you ask yourself is it really necessary to cloud your mind, heart and spirit with fermenting bitterness? As we move in to the last leg of this decade, I encourage you to re-evaluate those grudges and bad feelings you’ve laid so heavy on your heart toward a loved one. I’m asking;

Are you willing to shift End to Beginning?…I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl!

The plight of the Single Mom still weighs heavy in our community. Talk television has successfully down-played the seriousness with its satire of the term “Baby Mamma”; feeding our animalistic need to tap into other peoples misery.

Who could have predicted a simple phrase such as, “You are not the father” would be such an inter-woven part of our culture? The focus of fatherless children has shifted from responsibility to entertainment. As the Mother parades on stage wearing the Scarlet letter on her forehead, fault is never found in the Men who participated in unprotected sex as well. As Men celebrate, hi-five each other and shout simultaneous vulgarities at Scarlet Woman; no one considers the child is still void a Father.

How is it that a man can create a child from his seed and carry-on through life as if that child does not exist? Men, you have to stop treating your children as if they are disposable! Understand that once you insert yourself inside of a woman with no protection, YOU are responsible for whatever happens next! There are no excuses for not caring for a life you created. I know there are women out there who make it nearly impossible for you to be a father, but that’s your cross to bear and I feel no sorrow.
The sons of our Community are out there shooting one another because you allowed the streets to be their Mentor. The daughters of our Community are becoming Mothers too young because you allowed strangers to teach her what love is.

You see when children are treated as if they are disposable; they treat others as disposable Beings. Fathers, it’s time for you to step up and step in place as Mentors and Leaders for your children.
This week I’m asking the question: What happens when Fathers walk away? I’m listening….Holla at ya Gyrl !

Rarely do things offend me, because I understand people are entitled to their opinions. It is only because of that freedom that I’m able to write and post my views for the world to see. How-ev-er….I am so tired of groups; political or otherwise comparing their contention to the historical plight of blacks, Negros, coloreds, afro-Americans, African Americans, or whatever it is they call us today.

I understand today’s movement to bring forth basic American rights for the homosexual community which heterosexuals are entitled to; but to say this movement is comparative to the Civil Rights Movement is brazen. For those who feel this is the same fight, might I remind you that;
-Being black cannot be hidden. People of the Civil rights movement did not have a chance to “come out” or “go public”. Black people were born “out”.
-I don’t recall any alternative lifestyle people being hosed down at peaceful rallies by the local police department and fire department.
-I still have not come across any restaurants or hotels with signs that read “Straight People Only”.
-Haven’t heard any stories of Gay people being beaten to death for whistling at straight people and;
-There are no laws which segregate gay people from straight people

My father who is only 63 years old grew up in North Carolina, unable to swim at the community pool because by law, it was not designated for Colored people. He had to read a sign before he could sip water from a public fountain because if that fountain was not designated for Colored people he had remain thirsty until he found one. Can you imagine how many public water fountains he had to pass up in the sweltering North Carolina heat just to quench his thirst?
The Gay Rights movement may be many things but it’s definitely NOT “the new black”.

Talk to me; whether good, bad or indifferent I want to know what you think. Is being Gay the new Black?
I’m listening….Holla at ya Gyrl !

First, I love Reality television. What originally drew me in was the unpredictability of its content, not to mention the depth of humility people will endure to be on television and win a prize. Now that a few stars have emerged from Reality television, everyone is vying for position to fit into the cookie cutter compartments. Omarosa gave birth to the Reality Bitch, Flavor Flav the Reality Pimp with Ms. New York supporting as the Bottom Ho. Donald Trump the Reality Businessman, The Osbourns as the Reality f’d-up family, Keyshia Cole brings to life the Reality crack cocaine element and Britney Spears the Reality…. Well you fill in the blank. The point is, once the doors are opened, the script is constantly re-circulating but with different Head-liners. Every nobody with a “looking for love” show has a mansion (that is not theirs for real) and a harem complete with drunks, booty-shakers, and those who should be committed in a mental institute. Whoever is the best performer in the Harem gets a spin-off show complete with more of the same. Toya from the Tiny and Toya show is afraid of every damn thing! I just want the producers to allow her to ease up on the term “afraid”. It’s clear she had been encouraged to use it without any limits. Yes Toya, I understand that being Lil Wayne’s ex-wife umpteen years ago has presented road blocks for you, but honestly…..I didn’t even know you were married to him before the show.

I just want Reality television to be the Reality television it used to be. This Un-reality realm I have entered is so disappointing. Oh and the Real Housewives of Atlanta; I purposely strayed from that one. That is a topic in itself!

O.k Good People, I need you to talk to me and give it to me straight. Am I the only one caught in the Un-reality Matrix?….Speak to me….I’m listening…..Holla at ya Gyrl!

What’s ironic is that what starts out as betrayal to the Spouse becomes over shadowed by the presence of public betrayal. When the media circus exposes the deed, the public official spends more time apologizing to his constituents than mending his relationship. What’s even more hilarious is the “public outrage” and backlash from wives of America who feel entitled to an apology as well.

More recently South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford went public exposing his liaison with his Argentina Hot Mamma. Bizarrely his public apology turned into a twisted admittance/declaration of his undying love for the other woman BUT his intention is to save his marriage and make amends to the people of South Carolina (Whatever!). When these incidents occur I pose the same questions;
-Is the public owed an apology when Public officials are exposed?
-Does an extra – marital affair interfere with the Public official’s ability to do his job?

Unless public funds were used to carry out the relationship, I don’t feel I have to be personally apologized to. An apology in essence should be sincere but these types of apologies are nothing but steps in the “I need to keep my job” process. I understand our leaders are held to a higher standard but where do we draw the line on having to know everything?

That’s my word now I’m waiting to hear your position….I’m listening…..Holla at ya Gyrl !

Eventually we realize we can only make amends for past mistakes and the end of the world is not really the end of the world but a means to push us beyond our comfort zones when we can no longer push ourselves. Regardless of our religious views the common thread is: When we face tragedy we all seek and need to believe there is a Higher Power than Man.

The greatest gift about this life is we always have TOMORROW. Tomorrow is our “big break”, our “do over”; another opportunity to do all we missed the day before. Tomorrow brings another opportunity to change a life, change a perspective, and change the direction of your path.

What a beautiful life this is. Do you Agree?

This is my personal reflection, now I would love to read yours. Dig into your soul then speak from the heart. Speak to me..now Holla at ya Gyrl !
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The Kidnapping charge was obtained because the victims were instructed to move from one side of a room to the opposite side. Once arrested, Frederick admitted to his involvement. His case should have been handled in Juvenile court but instead, Frederick was tried as an Adult and sentenced to Life in prison with the possibility of parole after 7 years. While most 16 year olds are planning their future and preparing for college, Frederick prepared for hard prison time in California’s violent Correctional Facilities.

When Frederick went up for his Board hearing in 2007 he received exemplary reports from his Psychiatrist, prison officials and the Deputy District Attorney. It was noted Fred completed his G.E.D within one month of being arrested. He has completed vocational courses in Landscaping, Real Estate, Roofing, and Home Inspection and is a Certified Personal Trainer. Several Self-Help courses were completed as well.

Prior to his Board Hearing, Fred was medically determined a “Low risk” in the community because he has No prior history of felonies or misdemeanors. There is NO history of drug or alcohol abuse and NO record of aggression or violence in prison. A Probation report rendered him suitable for release. The Parole Board deemed him “extremely intelligent and motivated.” The Deputy District Attorney called Frederick “Phenomenal” and commended him for only having one write up during his 10 years in prison. However it was the one write up coupled with Frederick’s “youth” that was the Deputy District Attorney’s reason for denying him Parole. The infraction was for Possession of Contraband; Cell phone and Charger. Again, the DA cited that Frederick’s, “Youth brings about the possible threat to others“. So now his age is the determining factor?! This makes absolutely no sense to me. Frederick maintains his humble presence but admits it can become a hard pill to swallow when he sees murderers, rapist, and child molesters being found suitable to return to the free world.

I personally read through all his Hearing records and became amazed that there were over 50 pages of Frederick being complimented and praised by the Board of Prison Terms on how he has used his prison time constructively and exceeded above and beyond their expectations. Let’s sit with this for a minute…….. The District Attorney speaks GREATLY of Frederick then recommends Denial of Parole because of his age and possessing a cell phone?!

Frederick’s most recent Parole Hearing took place this year January. He was once again denied. This reason? because his crime was “Heinous” and “Sophisticated”.

I’m asking all of you who has been touched by his case to please show your support by writing Frederick Hill or simply sending him a card encouraging him to stay fighting for his freedom.

Please Holla at ya Gyrl and let me know your thoughts good, bad or indifferent.

Frederick Hill #P09300 d11/241 low
Chuckawalla Valley State Prison
P.O. Box 2349
Blythe, CA 92226

Did NPR discuss this because President Obama used a term unfamiliar to all Americans or to expose his use of a language favored mostly by black people? Whatever the reason, one thing is certain: Today’s White House will not always reflect the style, culture and language of the last 43 Presidents. Already President Obama has apprised America into taking a genuine interest and focus on our culture; our language.

Do you feel Blacks and White hear Obama differently? Speak to me….I’m listening…Holla at ya Gyrl !

I am thankful that I’m spawned from a culture and heritage possessing the strength, ability, and endurance to live without. A culture where adaptation is a constant and having to stretch a dollar is sometimes necessary. Although this is my first global recession, I’ve been through many in my lifetime except my mama called it a different name: Making Ends Meet.

Growing up it seemed we were always in a state of recession or…Making Ends meet. There was no depression or suicidal intentions. When ends didn’t meet my Mama did what she had to do to supplement her income. She has been a Baby Sitter, House Cleaner, Meal Preparer, Cookie Maker, Errand Runner, and Gardener to name a few. My sister and I had to live without the latest and greatest toys because getting what we need took precedence over what we want. We were forced to use our imagination. Therefore we sewed our own doll clothes, made dollhouses out of card board boxes, rode bikes, skated all day long, and made “gourmet” pies from dirt and water. Yes, we experienced difficult times, but through it all there was a whole lot of fun and laughter.

When I watch the “panic antics” of the news and other media outlets talk about our recession, I’m thankful my peace and happiness are not invested in “things” I can’t afford or trying to keep up with the Jones’. Who are the Jones’ anyway?

How have you been affected by this recession? Can you relate to M.E.M?…I’m listening …..Holla at ya Gyrl !

Godspeed,

Latoya