I come from an average family growing up like many of my fellow Americans. My mother and father divorced when I was about 7 yrs old and my mother gained the primary responsibility of raising myself and my older sister (I have a little sister too, but she came 10 yrs later). Although my parents were hard workers, I often watched my mother struggle to make ends meet. I can vividly recount many times coming home from school and telling my mother how starved I was.
“Did you look in the cabinets? It’s some can food in there. We still have some left over dinner from last night.” She would offer.
“I don’t want that!” I would say.
Cool as a cucumber she would shrug her shoulders and say, “then you not hungry, because if you were truly starved you would eat whatever food is available.” With that said she would go about her day and keep it moving. I wanted a hamburger and french-fries, pizza or some kind of fast food. I always questioned why I couldn’t get name brand shoes, clothes, jewelry, my own room, more lunch money so I can stop at the store after school. The list went on and on. My mamma made it crystal clear we did not have money for that kind of stuff. I grew up always feeling we were poor wondering what it would be like to walk in the shoes of my many friends who seemed to have everything.
As I became older and more exposed to the world I realized I was never poor or poverty stricken, just Materially Deprived. The word “Poverty” suggest being destitute or unable to be provided with food, clothing, and shelter. None of that applied to me. I may not have had the latest and greatest fashions or lived huge home, but my mamma and my dad made sure the necessities were provided without question. I began working at 16 yrs old and my Dad gave me my first car, a 1977 Chevrolet Nova (my first bucket).
Fast forward today, I admit guilt of not allowing my children the opportunity to be Materially Deprived. They have the latest and greatest “things” thanks to their father and do not expect to have to do much but wake up, and get good grades. Being Materially Deprived allowed my sister and me to be creative and use our imagination. For me, I spent most of my time as a child writing, reading, and playing outside (an activity that has almost become extinct) while my sister took to designing and making the clothes my mamma refused to buy for us. My sister and I fought all the time, but were able to resolve our problems through communicating. No email, text messaging, or cell phones to distract us. No Xbox or Play Station to vegetate our brains, just good old fashioned talking.
Did you grow up Materially Deprived? If so, what effect has it had on how you raise your children? I want to hear your story,
Holla at ya Gyrl !
YOU KNOW WHAT I REALIZED AS AN ADULT, THAT ALL THOSE THINGS ARE JUST TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS AND NOTHING MORE, THIS IS WHY ALOT OF PEOPLE LIVE BEYOND THEIR MEANS AND LOSE THEIR HOUSES AND CARS, BECAUSE THEY ARE SO USED TO KEEPING UP WITH THE JONES AND WE DON’T KNOW HOW TO FUNCTION WHEN WE DON’T HAVE THE MATERIAL THINGS. SOMETIMES I LOOK IN MY CABINETS AND IT IS FULL OF FOOD, AND I SEE MYSELF SAYING THERE IS NOTHING TO EAT, BUT TO A PERSON, WHO NEEDS FOOD, THEY WOULD FEEL AS IF THEY HIT THE JACK POT, BUT IF YOU NOTICED, THE KIDS WHO WERE DEPRIVED REALLY, NO FOOD, NO NEW CLOTHES FOR THE SCHOOL YEAR, WALKED EVERYWHERE, ARE WELL BALANCED PEOPLE, BECAUSE WHEN THEY GET IT, THEY WANT TO MAKE SURE THEY KEEP IT AND DON’T LOSE IT. THEY HAVE THE NEW HOUSE OR TWO, THE NEW CARS, THE GOOD CREDIT, A GOOD JOB WHERE THEY STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM, SO THEY FUNCTION BETTER AS ADULTS, BECAUSE THEY ALWAYS HAD TO WORK FOR WHAT THEY HAD AND APPRECIATED WHAT THEY GOT, BUT THE MISTAKE I SEE THEY DO MAKE, IS DUE TO BEING DEPRIVED AS A CHILD, THEY SPOIL THEIR CHILDREN AND THEN THEY REFUSE TO WORK HARD FOR WHAT THEY WANT AND EXPECT EVERYTHING, WE HAVE TO BALANCE THINGS OUT, BECAUSE IN TODAY’S WORLD CHILDREN ARE BEING DEPRIVED IN MANY DIFFERENT WAYS, NO FOOD, NO SHELTER, NO CLOTHES, EMOTIONAL DEPRIVATION, SO IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO INSTILL VALUES AND WORK ETHICS IN THEM WHEN THEY ARE YOUNG AND MAKE SURE THEY WORK FOR THE THINGS THEY WANT AND ALSO FOR THE THINGS THEY NEED, PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT…., THAT IS JUST A THOUGHT A HAD WHEN I READ THE TOPIC ….TOODLES
MS. NAY